Wellness Tips: Halloween Style

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The last two blogs, writing about Clinton and Trump and their potential impact on HR exhausted me. So, here is a fluff piece. Please to enjoy.

  1. Don’t get bitten. That’s the first and most important rule.
  2. During the first few days of the zombie apocalypse, stock up on canned goods, dehydrated foods, weapons, medicine, outdoor clothing and fuel. Really, this should be a no-brainer. By stocking up, we mean commandeer a bunch of semi-trucks, load them up and park them somewhere that’s easy for you to get to, but hard for zombies (like a small island with a drawbridge).
  3. Running Shoes. There’s a reason they are called the “walking dead”. They don’t jog. Once the dead rise you’ll be getting a great cardio workout. Good shoes are essential.
  4. Granola Bars. They’ll give you the burst of energy you need. Also, just because the world has ended doesn’t mean you need to forget about having enough fiber in your diet.
  5. You might want to think about getting a boat, and staying near a large body of water. Zombies aren’t known for their graceful swimming ability. Really, when the attack commences, rather than running through the forest or a city street that looks like a war zone, wouldn’t you prefer to just hop in your boat and sail out into the middle of the lake.
  6. Bomb shelters might seem like a good idea at first, but if you’re surrounded by the undead, you’ll eventually run out of food and have to come out. Use a bomb shelter only in a last-ditch effort to save your life
  7. Use common sense. Don’t elect a psychopath as your team leader, and always keep your group together. This isn’t a ‘Scooby-Doo’ mystery — you’re trying to stay alive. No matter how tempting it is, never split up. There’s strength in numbers. When it’s just you and 120 zombies, your odds of survival decrease significantly.
  8. If you’re really worried about being caught unaware, you might want to zombie-proof your house. This might seem like going overboard, just a bit, but there are worse things you could do with a lazy Sunday afternoon. A zombie wake-up call inside your bedroom just before you’re off to work can be very unpleasant, to say the least. Always be prepared. 
  9. And most important of all (besides not getting bit), have a backup for everything. Backup generators, batteries, ammunition, food, escape routes, weapons supplies, vehicles, leaders and so on, ad infinitum. When the gooey zombie juice hits the fan, every second counts. By the time you say, “Now where did I leave my extra gun clip,” some greasy monster just back from the dead will have already ripped your arm off, or your head.

You’ve got to be smart out there, and stay ahead of the pack. Remember, the dead don’t sleep. If one of them catches you snoozing on the job unprepared, it will simply add you to the zombie ranks, or turn you into an all-you-can-eat buffet. Good luck out there. And keep your brains where they belong — in your head.

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